


Your sunshine (For me)

by adamngoodbatch (sibbed)



Series: Of First Kisses, Epiphanies and Revelations [3]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Buddie First Kiss Week 2020, First Kiss, M/M, Panic Attacks, also underground rivers, and bonfires, but hints of a beginning of one, it looks ominous as hell, it's not a full fledged panic attack, look i've been in that underground river, now with zip lines, tagging just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:41:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24521803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sibbed/pseuds/adamngoodbatch
Summary: First kiss vacation style, with zip lines, underground rivers, and bonfires.Prompt: Soft & Slow for Day 3 of Buddie First Kiss Week
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Of First Kisses, Epiphanies and Revelations [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769437
Comments: 19
Kudos: 127





	Your sunshine (For me)

The glow of the bonfire illuminates the night. Orange and yellow, warm and soft surrounding them. Eddie picks two water bottles from the kiosk and walks over to where Buck is standing. They’re soaked from head to toe and the heat from the fire is starting to warm them up.

“Bonfires, man, I know we’re firefighters, but I’ve always been fascinated by them,” Buck says as his cheeks get flushed while he stares at the fire. Eddie hums his agreement and passes Buck the water bottle.

The park doesn’t seem to be at full capacity; it’s quiet enough that they are the only ones standing around the fire. They notice a few groups of people walking on the paths that lead to the four activities they have left to do. Starting with the ziplines was Buck’s idea, he wanted to at least run through them twice, once with the sun still up and then, by nightfall, to see the fire from above.

“This park is amazing, Eds.”

“Yeah, I know. The zip lines are so good.”

“The ring of fire must be quite the sight.”

“Mhmm.”

“So, once more?” Buck bumps Eddie’s shoulder with his.

“Of course,” Eddie beams at him.

“Let’s make it a competition,” Buck slyly takes one step toward the path, “first one to finish chooses the next activities.” He bolts, sprinting to get to the first section of the zipline, leaving Eddie behind.

“Hey, that’s not fair.”

Buck stops on his tracks and turns around and smirks, “Come on, old man.”

Eddie tosses the water bottle in the trash can as he tries to catch up with Buck. When he finally gets to the first section of the ziplines, he can see Buck is already flying through the night sky over the trees.

Even with the minimal amount of people in the park, Eddie doesn’t get a break. There are always at least two or three people between them, so by the sixth section, he accepts his fate. He catches glimpses of Buck’s unruly curls with the wind hitting on his face while he passes the ring of fire and he recognizes his laughter from the distance.

By the last part of the zipline, he’s assuming Buck will be waiting for him after the water curtain, besides the fake, albeit quite realistic, t-rex skeleton. He pads through the shallow waters and catches Buck standing alone, looking distractedly at the artificial bones. Eddie approaches him and notices Buck is humming the Jurassic Park’s theme. Eddie chuckles to himself, sneaks closer, and suddenly presses on Bucks’ sides with his forefingers making him jump.

“What the fuck, dude, no,” Buck frowns but then he laughs, breathless, and turns around to face Eddie.

“Sorry.”

“Ok, so,” Buck takes a step back and swells his chest, “I won.”

“Obviously. I had no chance, the moment you took off like a maniac, my fate was sealed.”

“I get to choose.” 

Eddie raises an eyebrow. “That seems to be the deal you made with _yourself_.”

“Very funny, old man, let’s see,” Buck takes a few steps towards a map where all the attractions of the park are laid out and stares at it. He looks at Eddie and grabs his hand, “let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.”

* * *

Once they reach the start of the next attraction, they put their helmets and life jackets on and take the stairs that descend into the water. Eddie steps falter. It’s an underground river and it looks ominous, illuminated by red lights, and surrounded by stalactites.

“This looks terrifying,” Eddie says. Buck squints at him and Eddie waves a dismissing hand at him. “Ominous.”

Eddie puts on his diving fins and walks awkwardly into the water. “Ok, and now it’s ridiculous.”

“I know, right?” Buck laughs, and he’s already swimming away, while Eddie gawks at his retreating figure. 

“Can you please hold on for just a second?” he demands as he dives in, trying not to think twice about the feeling of dread that threatens to plague his mind. Eddie takes a few kicks and catches up to Buck. 

They swim together in silence, until Eddie’s heart starts to pick up its rhythm. He looks down into the water and realizes he’s not enjoying it. The red water and the darkness that surrounds them make him anxious, invoking memories he would rather forget. He picks up his pace and, without noticing, leaves Buck behind. Eddie hurries himself until he reaches the open space where a waterfall encircles the end of the underground river. 

His heart is beating fast and he feels his breathing get more and more agitated. He takes a seat in one of the steps, trying to rein in his thoughts, staring into nothing. 

Eddie waits for Buck there, making an attempt to still his breathing and his mind. It takes less than five minutes for Buck to enter the space encircled by the waterfall looking for Eddie. 

Once Eddie sees him, he waves at him and tries for a smile that he knows it’s unconvincing. Eddie watches as Buck swims the rest of the way to him and takes a seat beside him, bumping their shoulders together, “you ok?”

“Yeah, it was just- a bit too much, maybe,” Eddie answers, a soft smile on his lips.

Eddie sees the wheels turning in Buck’s mind. There’s guilt behind his eyes. He doesn’t know what Eddie went through when he got trapped 40 feet underground, but Eddie knows how Buck reacted. He’s seen the video. It was heartbreaking. 

Buck stands up abruptly and Eddie looks up at him. "Next one?" Buck asks and his voice sounds small and terrified.

There’s a deep desire within Eddie’s mind to deflect all that guilt he’s catching in Bucks’ eyes. Because he never opened up to him about it, Buck has no way of knowing what could entering an encased and ominously illuminated river do to him. They never talked about it and Eddie knows why. Because that conversation would lead to a bigger one. One he’s not sure if they are ready to have.

Eddie chooses to push past it once more and break the silence. “I thought you only got to choose-” Eddie says, but gets interrupted by an insistent Buck who tugs at his hand and forces him to get up. Buck’s face looks soft yet taken over by resolve.

“Trust me, please,” Buck pleas.

“You know I do.”

* * *

As they walk slowly, Eddie realizes Buck’s giving him time to decompress and readjust. Huge torches illuminate the way as they walk down the path towards the entrance of the next activity. 

It’s early in the night and they still have a few hours left to roam around the park. Eddie looks at Buck and notices his mop of hair is a mess, curls sticking in all directions, and his face relaxed. An overwhelming wave of affection takes over him. He puts his hand on Buck’s shoulder and squeezes softly. “Thanks, man.”

Buck puts his hand on Eddie’s and hums.

They reach their destination, and Buck points to some vehicles parked beside them. “Wanna drive first?” 

Driving those amphibious vehicles through the jungle might take him out of the slight funk he put himself in and Eddie considers his options. He makes a mental note to scratch the underground rafts from the to-do list. No more underground rivers for today.

“I guess we’re doing this one more than once too?” Eddie asks.

“You know it,” Buck beams at him.

“Fine, then I’ll go first.”

Going through bridges and caves and caverns, with a road illuminated by the moon and a few torches scattered by the sidelines, Eddie finds himself enjoying the rush of the drive. He feels his earlier thoughts dissipate as the wind hits his face. He’s certain that if Buck’s with him, nothing bad can ever happen. He feels safe and secure. 

Once they finish their first lap, it’s Buck’s turn to drive. The second time they drive through the jungle, they laugh and laugh until they're out of breath and their bellies hurt. Eddie’s mind now has broken free from every dark thought that tried to infiltrate his mind.

When they finish their second lap around the track, they are covered in specks of mud and absolutely breathless from laughter. Eddie feels his knees buckle as he steps out of the car and he tumbles for a second, but Buck’s there to catch him.

“Oh my god, come on, old man, let’s go have a seat and eat something before I lose you.” Buck throws an arm across Eddie’s waist and the contact makes Eddie shiver.

Under the security of Buck’s hold, Eddie lets the feeling of safety and security take over and stands straighter. “You’re never going to lose me, Buck.” He knows his tone is too solemn. He tries to laugh, but his body won’t allow it.

They walk into the restaurant, and Eddie scans the place looking for the most isolated table and takes a seat. He groans as he feels his knees creak when they bend. “Maybe I am an old man, damn.”

Buck laughs and pats him in the back, “It’s ok, old man, wait here, I’ll get us something to eat.”

The buffet is loaded with almost any kind of food they could want and Buck grabs two plates and fills them with a very eclectic mix of them. He walks back to their table and notices Eddie has already grabbed them some drinks. Buck sets the food on the table and takes a seat.

“Agua de jamaica, for me. Piña, pineapple, for you.”

“I know what piña is, Eds.” He takes a big gulp of his juice. “It’s good. Let’s dig in, I’m starving.”

After finishing with their meals, Eddie feels even better than before. “Wanna go for the last round on the zip lines?”

“Not really.” 

Eddie frowns. “Oh.”

“Let’s go to the bonfire again, and we’ll get some coffee? Relax for a bit?”

“Okay.”

* * *

Staring into the fire, Eddie realizes his feelings are all over the place, but the one thing that dominates his mind is Buck. Buck and the feeling of safety, like nothing could break them apart, ever. As Buck’s resolve to make him feel better was evident before, he feels maybe it’s his time to do _something_. Talk about what happened today. Talk about what happened a few months ago when he almost died and Buck yelled his name as if he was losing a part of his soul. And what it all means for them.

What it all means for him.

Buck arrives with two coffees while Eddie takes a seat on one of the wooden chairs beside the bonfire and pats the chair beside him signaling Buck to take a seat. They remain silent, both staring into the fire for a few minutes while they drink their coffees. 

Eddie hums to a soft song that plays in the background as he lays back on the chair and blinks a few times. He lets his eyes close and pulls his arms over his head feeling his muscles stretch and then relax, falling to either side of his body. “Buck, I know I never talked to you about this, but, back there in the underground river, I-” he opens his eyes and turns his head to look at Buck. “I’ve been thinking about what went through my mind down there for months.” 

Buck’s eyes remain closed, a pained expression crosses his face. “I’m so sorry, Eddie, I didn’t think.”

“No, that’s not-- listen, that’s not what I meant. It’s ok. It was terrifying and I wouldn’t go back there again, but it’s ok. It just got me thinking about why I never told you.”

“Told me what?”

“Where my mind went when I thought I was going to-”

Buck waves a dismissing hand at him, sits up straight, and nods. The words die in Eddie’s mouth. He understands Buck doesn’t want to hear him say it because he knows what Buck went through, even if he’s never dared talk to him about it.

Maybe Buck knows everything and he’s just patiently waiting for Eddie to catch up. 

But nothing else matters right now, because Eddie needs to say it out loud. He needs to get the words out now before he cowers. “All images my mind could conjure up to keep me alive involved Christopher.” He turns his body to face Buck. “Please, Buck, I need you to look at me now.”

The fire flickers over them. There’s a contrast between the warm light of the fire and the darkness of the shadows casting upon their faces. Buck shifts in his seat, and Eddie gets lost in an ocean of blue eyes. 

“I’m here, Eds.” Eddies’ hands tremble at the contact of Bucks’ hands on his, “Always was, always will be. I’m right here.”

“All I could see was Christopher.” Eddie squeezes Buck’s hands back. “And you. You two were front and center of almost every damn good memory my brain tried evoking for me. And for the longest time, I didn’t know how to deal with it. I didn’t understand what it meant. It was like a veil was lifted from my eyes and I was seeing everything for the first time. In a new light. It felt like when you stare at the sun for too long and your eyes need to adjust a bit? Well, it felt like that. But that was months ago, and now-”

Buck gives him a questioning look.

Eddie leans in, pressing his forehead against Buck’s. “I think I know now.”

“Are you sure?” Buck whispers.

“Yes.”

“Good, so now I can finally-” Buck presses Eddie’s leg between his. Eddie watches in awe as Buck takes a look around, sure that he’s scanning the premises for intruders that might invade their intimate moment. When he notices there’s no one around, he looks at Eddie again and leans forward, making his nose brush Eddie’s nose twice. "Finally-" They exhale at the same time and Buck whispers against Eddie’s lips, “do this.”

The softness of Bucks’s lips on his sends Eddie’s head spinning. It feels like he’s standing right in the middle of the bonfire, his whole body aflame; like Buck has filtered through his armor and into his heart and soul illuminating him from within. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes itch from the fire.

Eddie moves back and looks at Buck who gives Eddie the most dazzling smile he’s ever seen, almost blinding. 

“You’re like the sun to me,” Eddie says taking Bucks’ knuckles to his lips and planting a kiss there. "Warm and bright."

**Author's Note:**

> The park they visit is Xplor Fuego in Riviera Maya. It’s an awesome park that I visited 5 years ago, so there might be some inaccuracies.
> 
> Yes, I know, where's Christopher you may ask? Well, in my mind he's with Abuela at the hotel having fun waiting for Buck and Eddie to return.


End file.
